I live in my own inner world with my thoughts, emotions and imaginations. Easily impressed by all the things in life I keep a little distance. As a child I played in our big yard, climbing trees and creating secret hiding places where I could daydream, read, and imagine songs and stories. There where countless opportunities in that garden full of birds, rabbits and butterflies. Drawing and creating being my companion. I’ve always made my own fairy tale.
Growing up, getting worried and thoughtful, I got tangled up, the fairy tales faded away. Followed by my fear of failure I neglected the existence of my inner child and true self and started to ignore my personal boundaries. Always censoring myself and having harsh judgments, trying to be as perfect as can be. In which I, of course, never succeeded.
Somewhere throughout my life I almost lost myself so it was about time to listen. Listen to my inner voice. I’m not there yet, learning every day, trying hard to stay true to myself, and cherishing what I’ve reached so far.
So hello 2016, here I am, mind wandering, curious, exploring the limits, hopping through wonderland, enjoying the beauties life brings every day, and embracing vulnerability. Grateful having the chance to follow my creative, colorful path in life. And most of all making my own fairy tales again.
I am chaotic lines going in circles. Meeting again giving form to chaos.
I am dreaming my life living my dream. I dream to create and I create while dreaming.
Every moment of our lives we are surrounded by color. It is ‘a common thing’ and we are used to its appearance, maybe take it for granted, and we easily can forget about its beauty and the impact it has on our lives emotionally. It is however one of our senses and it deserves more attention.
This morning a Robin was hopping through the garden, and I immediately saw its red breast showing up. The vibrant red/orange is something we can not deny. The Robin has no idea of his vibrant presence and think it can hide in the bushes without being seen. Only the idea is so endearing.
It’s natures colors that moves me most, all its hues are countless. And natures colors are never dull. I believe that every color has its vibrancy, colors can strengthen or weaken each other by placed next to each other. We can look at color in several ways, psychic, emotional, technical or scientific, I wrote about it in another post, and yet it is almost impossible to describe what you feel about one specific color. There are always two sides of a story, and that’s the same when talking about color. Which makes it to one of the most difficult subjects when it comes to choosing.
I love just sitting, apparently doing nothing and stare in the distance, musing about all sort of creative thoughts that wander my mind. All these things that add another dimension to my life since my children are grown up, have children of their own and need me in another way than when they were younger. The stream of creative thoughts that never ends, I can’t keep up with it and often feels like chaos. Until the moment I start drawing or painting, when everything seems to fall into place.
Most of the time my desk is cluttered with all kinds of supplies and paraphernalia. I love to be surrounded with little things like shell and pebbles or a beautiful find of an antique shop. The display of these little treasures changes when time passes by and they are replaced by other things. To me they have stories of their own which they want to tell me. I draw or paint them or I just enjoy them for being such little beauties.
Everything exists of shadow and light, sometimes it’s vibrant and full of color, sometimes colors are fading away. It doesn’t say anything about the quality, it’s just how it goes. Some things stay in the light, other disappear in the shadow, maybe for a little while to appear again. It’s a play, a play of shadow and light.
Making visible what’s in my mind, at least trying to, is what I love. Here are a few watercolor sketches of emotions, thoughts and expressions. I don’t know where they come from and where they go, they pop up in my mind, just long enough to paint them. Then they make room for other images that keep me ‘busy’.
Reflection. This isn’t a self-portrait, and yet it is, this isn’t me and yet it is. I believe that in everything we create we put a lot of ourselves, and so it is with portraits. Maybe not always visible, it might be hidden behind the eyes. We all have many different faces, a child, a daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, artist, collector, lover of life, wanderer, dreamer, friend, perfectionist… Only to name a few. And all these faces expose, and sometimes hide, their own emotions, which makes us who we are, isn’t that intriguing! I love making portraits, wondering and trying to express what’s behind the face.
I have never been aware before how many faces there are. There are quantities of human beings, but there are many more faces, for each person has several. ~Rainer Maria Rilke
I am in the north of France, sitting outside with my Winsor & Newton color box, musing and doing some art journaling. Memories of Provence: I am thinking of blue and purple lavender and succulents on rocky ochre grounds. There is something with the light of this region, an abundance of beautiful light that makes my creative heart sing.
Early mornings are my favorite, it’s silent, my mind is clear, there are no distractions, and when sitting at my desk which is at the window I do what I love: painting and exploring the stories that develop in my head. My desk is pretty small because I get easily lost and distracted, and the bigger the desk, the greater the mess. But where to go is not a question for me, I’ll let the flow take me wherever it goes. I look for beauty in imperfection, I believe this is a common theme in my thoughts. I love painting and drawing portraits and still lifes, and express my emotion. I feel like being in the middle of one big process with so many possibilities, from which I am learning so many things day by day.